So, my stalker called twice today.
Perhaps they could do some heavy breating or something. The short silence before they hang up is kind of boring.
At one of my old jobs, my phone number had somehow ended up on a fax distribution list, and I got a call from a fax machine about once every two days for a year or so. Then one day I forwarded my phone to the fax machine at the office to actually receive the fax (because I had no idea how to tell them to stop) and it turned out to be spam. Fax spam. Meh. Anyhow..
Dear Stalker,
Thanks for loving me. But please: STOP FUCKING RINGING ME!
Love,
John.